20 Lessons Learned in my Twenties

I turned 30 years old last Friday and I feel like an official adult. Here are 20 lessons I learned in my 20’s.

1. You only live once, do we really?
I have no idea what is on the other side and because of that, it’s best to
think of this life as the only one. Yolo is not just a popular saying, I
remind myself often that I’m not going to get another life, so live my best
life now.

2. Schedules are good.
Even though they give me anxiety when it comes to my personal life. I prefer making a to-do list, but if I had a written schedule I think I could get more done.

3. Starting is the hardest part.
Whether it’s working out, learning a new skill, or simply cleaning up, it can take time to get started. These tasks never get easier, they just become part of the routine.

4. Conflict could be pushing you forward.
When I was 23 and still living with my mom, she gave me a year to move out. She said she felt like she was handicapping me. I was really upset with her because I just graduated college, but I was working at Target until I found my “real” job. I thought I was doing something by working and paying one bill. Even though I was upset with what she said, it motivated me to get a better job and my life hasn’t been the same since.

5. Take risks and things will fall into place.
I have taken a few risks in which I didn’t have the money or a plan, but things worked out. Sometimes you just have to do it.

6. Be decisive
I read “You Are a Badass” and one piece of advice was be decisive. I use to debate what meal I would choose and take forever to decide, but now when it comes to trivial things I don’t flip flop, I just decide what I want. It feels good to just make a decision and I can save my overthinking for important life decisions.

7. Time goes faster every year and you really don’t have time.
Enough said. There is no time.

8. Learned to say no
I learned to check in with my feelings. I say no to things I don’t like and say yes to things that make me happy.

9. Don’t stress over things I can’t change
When it comes to another person I can not change them. I work on leading by example instead.

10. More things will never enough
Whether it’s more space, more clothes, more shoes, more money, I always want more. I always feel like acquiring new things would make me satisfied, but the true answer is be content.

11. Credit cards are Satan incarnate
I didn’t get my first card until after college. It is really easy to think that you have the money or that you will pay back later. That’s the greatest deception.

12. Question your habits.
You don’t have to keep doing things because people say it’s right.

13. You could be ‘that’ girl so watch what you say
I learned in my early twenties that you never know what you would do in a situation, especially when it comes to a relationship. The best you can do to prepare yourself is to know your worth.

14. Moisture then water the hair
My 4c hair thrives when it’s wet it, moisturize it, then seal it with oil. Kind of like the L.O.C method, liquid, cream, then oil. Most times with my loose natural I didn’t do the cream, just liquid and oil and my hair flourished. Now with locs, I do not do cream to avoid build up.

15. I learned about the middle east
I don’t think you really understand a culture until you immerse yourself in it. I talk about my experience in Kuwait. here.

16. I learned techniques to make my teaching experience easier
This is an ongoing learning process.

17. Take self-help with a grain of salt.
I grew up believing that if a book resonated with me, I needed to do exactly what the author did. Maybe I do in some capacity, but the same book that preached be decisive (which gave me a new perspective) suggested that you should buy items out of your budget to fit the life that you want to achieve. Basically, overspending will force you to do what you have to do to live on the budget that you don’t have yet. I don’t think it’s practical.

18. I can like what I like and don’t have to defend it or justify it
I like it and you do not – having differences is what makes life interesting.

19. Stay out of people’s business
This refers to giving people advice about life or relationships I do not give advice unless asked, but I never give relationship advice because my ideas on relationships could be different from the couples values.

20. I realize that writing and music is actually life.
Without writing and music, I feel dead inside.




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